Top SIXTY AND SIX Reasons Why Fingers Are Better

  1. You don't have to smile at them afterwards.
  2. You don't have to get out of bed to fetch them.
  3. They don't get tired before you do.
  4. You always know where your fingers have been.
  5. For variety, you have ten to choose from.
  6. They are also useful *out* of bed.
  7. You can stop if you want to.
  8. Your fingers don't want to meet your family.
  9. Your fingers don't get jealous.
  10. Your fingers don't smell.
  11. Your fingers won't just fall asleep afterwards.
  12. Your fingers don't want you to meet *their* family.
  13. You don't get jealous of your fingers.
  14. Your fingers don't mind if you fall asleep afterwards.
  15. Your fingers won't let you down.
  16. Your fingers don't want to watch a football match instead.
  17. Your mother won't critisize your fingers.
  18. You can't get pregnant from your fingers.
  19. Your fingers don't need batteries.
  20. People aren't surprised to find you have them.
  21. Fingers don't need adaptors to covert American plugs to English ones (I've heard this can be a problem).
  22. They don't shrink afterwards.
  23. You always have them with you.
  24. You can chew on them when you are nervous.
  25. You can use more than 1 at a time.
  26. They are agile.
  27. They'll never leave you.
  28. You don't have to make your fingers coffee in the morning.
  29. You can also use them to clean the wax out of your ears.
  30. They want to when you want to.
  31. They don't take up half the bed at night.
  32. They are easy to clean.
  33. If the ones you are using get tired, you can switch to some of the others.
  34. They don't demand acrobatics in bed.
  35. They don't want to try out stuff they heard from friends.
  36. You can use them to try out stuff *you* heard from friends without worrying about it going horribly wrong.
  37. They don't look worried when *you* want acrobatics in bed.
  38. Your fingers don't give you bite-marks (Addition: unless you *like* bite-marks).
  39. You can share them with a friend.
  40. Fingers don't cheat on you.
  41. Fingers don't have hidden wifes/girlfriends/husbands/boyfriends/children.
  42. Your fingers don't yelp when you give them bite marks.
  43. For variety you can paint them any colour you want.
  44. It's not suspicious if you take them to the toilet with you.
  45. Since they come on 2 hands, you can use them on 2 places at the same time.
  46. They write your e-mail for you.
  47. You can use them for netsex when company is required.
  48. They're compatible with a wide range of leather goods and electrical appliances.
  49. No one ever fell in love with their fingers.
  50. They'll change the video channel for you.
  51. You can use them to write down your fantasy and share it with people.
  52. They won't ask: Am I the first?
  53. You can type with them (although I'd rather like to see a man trying to type with *his*!).
  54. They won't be disgusted when you have your period.
  55. They don't snore, fart, burp or have smelly breath.
  56. They don't want you to swallow.
  57. They don't whistle after other, better-looking women or men.
  58. They don't care if your hair is a mess.
  59. You don't have to tell them how you'd like it.
  60. They don't brag how great they are.
  61. They don't cost you time, money or patience.
  62. They don't want to know where you were last evening.
  63. Your friends don't criticise them.
  64. Their friends don't criticise you (fingers don't *have* friends).
  65. Afterwards, they won't ask: "Did you cum?"
  66. They don't leave you to sleep in the wet spot.